Normally, I stick to writing pre-fight predictions and steer away from writing too much post-fight commentary.   It’s always more fun writing about what could happen instead of what actually did happen.  However UFC 62 touched me on a deep personal level.  Also, I didn’t have much to do today.  So, here is my post fight analysis. 

Chuck Liddell over Renato Sobral KO Rd 1 1:35

If there is a way to beat Chuck Liddell, it certainly isn’t “put your head down and run at him wind-milling your arms like you are in a swimming race”.  If you are using process of elimination, go ahead and cross that strategy off your list.  Honestly, I thought Babalu would catch him with something or, at the very worst, lose by decision.  Then again, everyone has a plan ’til they get hit in the head.  Hopefully, Babalu’s game plan coming into the cage wasn’t “run straight at him like a man who is both on fire and covered in bees”.  What’s next?  Ortiz beats Shamrock to death and faces Liddell in the spring.   It’s the most likely conclusion considering the Wanderlei Silva match probably isn’t happening and Zuffa is pumping up Ortiz like an excited kid at the beach inflating an old air mattress.  Crappy analogy?  Probably.  But it’s a crappy fight since Liddell will unquestionably KO Ortiz again.

Forrest Griffin over Stephan Bonnar Decision 3 Rds

I thought Bonnar should have won the first decision and I guessed, incorrectly as it were, that he’d probably win a decision here and open the door for a re-re-match.   Instead, Griffin spent all three rounds tee’ing off like a PGA tour - while Bonnar stumbled around like a kid full of Sinutab.  What the hell happened?  Either Stephan was exhausted from hard partying the previous night (ala Lindsay Lohan) or (more likely) Griffin won because he had a much, much better training camp.

Nick Diaz over Josh Neer Submission 1:32 Rd 3

I got this one wrong too.  Sue me.   My mistake?   Forgetting that Neer should probably be fighting at 155 instead of 170, which is a weight category where most fighters walk around at 195lbs and cut weight using leeches and salt baths to suck all of the water out of their bodies.  Also, Diaz is lanky like a teenage orangutan.   Hopefully, Neer will drop to light weight for his future fights, and the UFC will finally, finally set up Diaz vs. Mayhem Miller – the #1 fight I want to see before dying.

Cheick Congo over Christian Wellisch KO 2:51 Rd 1

I knew Kongo was going to win this fight as soon as he took his shirt off.  I think three guys in the pub wet their pants out of some spontaneous primal fear instinct.   Hopefully the UFC will be able to sign more guys like this, although how many more enormous black French guys can there be? 

Hermes Franca over Jamie Varner Submission 3:31 Rd 3

I have never seen anyone combine running away, takedowns and stalling like Varner.  Personally, I think if you are being paid to fight that maybe, just maybe, you should be penalized for turning your back to your opponent and sprinting off like you’re competing in the fu*king Boston Marathon.  Moreover, they should deduct a point and allow your opponent to start in the full mount with a cheese-grater in each hand.   The sight of Franca breaking Varner’s arm has forever been etched into my mind as the living-image of justice being served. 

Eric Schaffer over Rob MacDonald Arm Triangle 2:26 Rd 1

Before his fight, Shaffer said that MacDonald’s only weakness was the fact he is Canadian.  As a proud Canuck, I wanted to see him pay for his words by getting KO’d, and then waking up with his mouth stuffed with real maple-syrup, bacon and a toque.  However, fate intervened and – though the Canadian lost – at least he was beaten by a jiu jitsu guy, which stings a lot less than seeing one of my country-men lose to a non-jiu jitsu infidel.

Wilson Gouveia over Wes Combs Submission 3:23 Rd 1

This fight went down exactly like I thought it would, but you don’t have to be Braniac the Ultra-Genius to know that a black belt from the American Top Team is going to beat a guy who looks like he should be a short-order cook at Hooters. 

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