There have been some rumors going around that TUF’s ratings are sinking each week. After last season’s anticlimactic battles and pretty much drama-free household a lot of the buzz surrounding the show has died down. Although this season sports a house full of crazy mo-fo’s, the less than stellar fights can’t seem to bring back the ratings. All that could change this week. Not only do we have a supposed great fight looming on the horizon, but we get to see someone get a colonic on national television. That’s right, we get to see someone getting tubes shoved up their rear end. Unfortunately for me, this will be the second time in a week that I’ve had to sit through a televised colonic (I thank Penn and Teller’s “Bullshit” for providing the first viewing). Hopefully next week will make up for it with lots of images that do not feature tubes and assholes, but only time will tell.

So last week Manny won his fight by kimura, and his team celebrates backstage by giving him the homemade belt. Whoopidy do. The big news this week is on the other side of the pond, over on Team Penn. Gabe “Godzilla” Ruediger is having a very hard time losing weight. While Gabe’s poundage is still hovering around the 170 mark, Team Pulver has become full aware of his weight and looks to capitalize. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and the time has come for Gabe to utilize the magical powers of the colonic. Apparently pumping your insides full of water can cause you to lose a lot of weight. The only problem with the situation is that Gabe is missing out on a day of practice to go through his procedure, and this ticks off his team mates. Coach Tony Desouza in particular seems very spited, going as far as to question Gabe’s reasons for being on the show. Tony thinks that if Godzilla was really serious about it that he would have come in without a weight problem. Regardless, Gabe decides to go get the colonic in hopes of losing weight.

Changing the subject, Corey Hill is a friggn’ lunatic. While he may seem like a reserved guy during interviews he is a madman in training. He screams, talks to himself, and practices striking downwards with the point of his elbow. Illegal techniques aside, Corey is an extremely hard worker, and that trait is recognized by this week’s guest coach, Jeremy Horn. While Corey doesn’t have time to catch up on MMA news (and therefore *gasp* has no idea who Jeremy Horn is), he still manages to catch Jeremy’s eye. Win or lose Jeremy invites Corey to train with him out in Salt Lake after the show is over. Corey would be a fool to miss this opportunity, but thankfully it doesn’t look like he even needs to think before accepting the offer.

This is where the episode begins to get….ahem…questionable. It all begins when Gabe arrives at his colonic appointment, and immediately 75% of Spike TV’s viewers can’t stop giggling. It’s explained that a colonic is actually a very healthy, cleansing process that detoxifies the body. Now don’t get me wrong, but I don’t see anything healthy about sticking something up your ass. That is a one way street. Moving along, Gabe remarks that although he’s had this procedure done before it will never be comfortable. That said, he doesn’t look very uncomfortable throughout the process. Nothing beats the demeanor of his “therapist” though, as she seems pretty stoked about getting a potential “mudslide,” as she puts it. She’s not talking about the kind made with Kahlúa, either. One thing to note about a colonic is that you do not have to be a doctor to perform one. Fecalphiliacs listen up, you just got one step closer to achieving your dream job. Back at the house, the episode continues on a downward spiral of depravity. Certain members of the house are walking around in thongs and chasing each other around the pool. It appears that my “gay firehouse” comment last week wasn’t so far off. Nate Diaz adds his opinion into the pot, spouting that although he has nothing against gay dudes he doesn’t condone the actions of his fellow “professionals” in the household. I’ve never understood this, but for some reason nudity and pseudo-homoeroticism always occur when you get a bunch of professional fighters together for extended periods of time.

Thankfully the episode pulls itself together at the fight announcement. Nate Diaz is still feeling the sting from Robert Emmerson’s written comment last week, so Jens decides to let them fight it out. After a pretty mean stare down it becomes even more apparent that these two don’t like each other. Hopefully that will translate into a good fight, but you never really know with this show. According to the guys in the house, Nate is a thug and Rob is a pimp. Apparently we’ve got a pretty ghetto match up this week. Speaking of ghetto, one thing that I like so far about Nate is that he’s a gangsta in all the right ways. He doesn’t try to be hard, because he is hard. He’s rugged but not as brash as his older brother, and he seems slightly more respectful. That said, obviously he won’t back down if someone offends him, but he doesn’t seem like he’s actively picking fights (like Ruediger). On the other hand, Robert likes to stir the pot a bit, but he doesn’t seem to come from the same rough background as the Diaz brothers. I’ve seen Emerson fight live a couple times, and he’s got serious skills. I’ve also seen Nate fight a few times, and he fights just like his brother. Lots of heart, extreme toughness, and very well rounded abilities punctuate his dossier. These guys are pretty well matched, aside from the reach advantage to Diaz. Let’s just hope that Dana’s prefight prediction is right on the money, and we’ve got a great fight on our hands.

Fight time is upon us and now we can finally see if this brawl is gonna live up to the hype. Round one begins and they waste no time getting into it. Punch for punch and knee for knee neither fighter really gets the advantage in the stand up exchanges. Diaz tries an interesting technique and holds Robert’s left hand, throwing a right hook whenever Rob tries to pull it back. It does enough to frustrate Robert and cause him to make mistakes, but again neither fighter is really able to capitalize more than the other. Two minutes in Robert lands a good right elbow from the clinch, but shortly after gets tossed down by a hip throw. The guys stand back up and Nate tags Robert with a stiff straight left hand, but the fighters clinch up and resume wearing each other down. Emerson shows some great takedown defense, stifling multiple attempts until the bell. Round two starts off with a bang, the combatants pushing the pace just as hard as the first. Emmerson lands a thudding right kick to the body before the two tie up again. After a few exchanges from the clinch Diaz slams Emerson to the mat with a nice single leg. Emmerson manages to get to his feet after some positional exchanges, but Diaz takes him right back down and starts pounding. Diaz attempts to work around the guard whilst throwing down some chopping punches, and once in half guard starts throwing harder shots. Emerson manages to get to full guard again, but Diaz stands up and jumps right down into mount. After eating a few big punches, Emerson rolls to his back, and Diaz starts a submission clinic. Diaz transitions from choke, to armbar, to kimura, to triangle, to armbar, to mount, and finally to the back again. From here Nate Diaz was able to secure the rear choke for the tapout with 15 seconds left in the second round.

After the fight Dana remarks that Emmerson vs. Diaz was probably the best fight ever on TUF. I have to strongly disagree. It was a competitive fight, with some good action on the ground and on the feet, but there have been several better fights. I don’t think I’ve seen a better submission clinic on TUF than the last minute or so of the fight. The Diaz brothers have some serious ground skills, and Nate definitely showed that to the world. With Diaz’s win Team Pulver is up 3-0 and everything seems to be going well for the yellow team. Next week’s preview shows something a little different, and apparently its not all peaches and cream over on Pulver’s side of the fence. Gotta wait until next Thursday to find out exactly what happens on….THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER!!!