Pride likes to think of themselves as akin to the Olympics which is strange since, in the Olympics, the athetes don’t have to worry about facing anyone from outside their own sport.  Archers do not find themselves facing off against javelin-tossers, for example, while shot-putters wait in the wings with hate in their eyes.  Nevertheless, Pride has done it again - with more than a few Olympians to boot, for Shockwave on New Years Eve.

Fedor Emelianenko vs. Mark Hunt

Hunt might have a head like a steel jar full of rocks, but Fedor is the complete package.  Granted, he is a slightly pudgy package, who looks like the brother of the guy who owns the deli on the corner, but he’ll kick your ass two ways from Thursday.  Fujita was able to put him on roller skates once during their match, and Hunt may very well do the same with his toaster-sized-fists, but Fedor went toe to terrible toe with Cro Cop and came out smiling and winking like some cross between Mike Tyson and the Pillsbury Dough Boy.  Result: Fedor by submission.

Takanori Gomi vs. Mitsuhiro Ishida

They call Gomi "The Fireball Kid" but I have never once seen him produce this much-talked-about fireball.  Perhaps he should spend more time studying Ken or Ryu from Street Fighter 2, or maybe Guile, although (for the record) he threw weird energy-hoop things, not fireballs.  This fight comes down to the takedown.  If Ishida can get it, he might side-choke his way to glory and handshakes.  If not, he may end up spending several agonizing months in a hospital bed with a helper monkey assisting him in urinating parts of his liver.  My guess: Gomi by TKO

Mauricio "Shogun" Rua vs. Kazuhiro Nakamura

I’ve read the first part of the book "Shogun", and I have to say it’s pretty good so far.  I’m just at the part where they are all stuck in a pit and some samurai guy is cutting off people’s heads.  Has Nakamura read this book?  Does it matter?  Answers: Maybe and no.  Likely result: Shogun by split decision after three rounds of crazy.

Joachim Hansen vs. Shinya Aoki

Aoki is like an octopus that has a black belt in jiu jitsu and an affinity for spandex pants.  I will tell you now that he WILL pull guard on Hansen and look for a triangle.  Will he get it?  I think so.  Of course I’ve been on a steady diet of chocolate and Pepsi for about a month now.  Aoki by triangle.

Gilbert Melendez vs. Tetsuya Kawajiri

Sometimes when I visit the dessert shop, I don’t get the chocolate bannana cream pie.  Sometimes I get something else and it’s usually very good - but it’s never as good as the chocolate bannana cream pie.  Sadly, Melendez is the something else in this fight.  He’s very good, but he’s not nearly as good as the chocolate bannana cream pie.  Kawajiri by decision.

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Josh Barnett II

Barnett is a hard guy for Big Nog to deal with.  He’s big, heavy and probably slippery like a damn sea lion.  Nog will find himself on his back in this fight.  The question is, will he be content to stay there? Or will he get back to his feet and, in the move of Tone Loc, bust a move.  My
guess: Barnett wins by decision.

Ikuhisa Minowa vs. Kiyoshi Tamura

Remember the time Hulk Hogan fought Macho Man Randy Savage?  I don’t, because pro wrestling is stupid and I never watched it because I was too busy catching spider and making them fight in an old ice cream bucket. 
Nevertheless; there are legions of Japanese people who see this fight in that same way - and I’m talking about the pro-wrestling thing here - not the spiders.  Tamura by TKO.

Akihiro Gono vs. Yuki Kondo

Kondo likes to get things over and done with - and who can blame him?  After all, the groupies are waiting.  Gono likes to drag fights into the final rounds and then win by a nose or a face as it were.  Who wins here?  I’m guessing Gono by decision.

Kazuyuki Fujita vs. Eldari Kurtanidze

Kurtanidze is a two-time Olympic medalist in freestyle wrestling.  This is
his first MMA match.   Care to guess what will happen?  I’m seeing him shoot
in on Fujita from nine feet away, fail to get the takedown, and then remain on his belly, covering his head while Fujita hammers away on his pickle-jar.
  In his defense, Fujita wil not score a single point on him, under freestyle wrestling rules.

Hidehiko Yoshida vs. James Thompson

If the Nevada State Athletic Commission ever tested James "the Colossus"
Thomspon for banned substances, I suspect they would find them all.  His urine probably has everything in it except for urine.  My guess: Thompson charges across the ring and straight into the waiting arms of Yoshida, who will hold onto him for three minutes like a sailor tied to his ship during a storm.  When the hurricaine is over, Yoshida will get a takedown and, shortly thereafter, a choke.  After this, while still unconscious, Thompson will turn back into Bruce Banner and will be taken away by scientists.

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