If the UFC 62 card left a bad taste in your mouth, look no further.  Pride Bushido’s ’Survival” is packed with MMA veterans going head to head.  It’s the perfect way to forget the fact that just last night, you spent your hard-earned money to watch an event that was mostly put together using fighters recruited from events called “Battle in the Barn” and “Farm Fights”.  Also, it shows what you can do when you pay top dollar for top fighters instead of getting third rate bar-brawlers who will fight anyone for a pack of cigarettes.

Dan Henderson vs. Kazuo Misaki

Henderson’s right hand punch is as straight as a beam of light and almost as fast.  When he hits people with it, they drop like they’ve been shot with a high-caliber rifle.  Look up “One punch, one kill” in the karate dictionary and you won’t find Henderson’s picture next to it, but you should.   Of course, Misaki just beat Phil Baroni; but the difference between Baroni and Henderson is as vast as that between a drugged-up orangutan and Roy Jones Jr.  Henderson has beaten Misaki once already and will do it again, likely by TKO.

Denis Kang vs. Amar Suloev

Amar Suloev is the sort of opponent who makes most grapplers crap in their spandex fight shorts, and rightfully so.  His footwork makes the guy from Lord of the Dance look like a stumbling drunk.  It also makes taking him down essentially as hard as catching two chickens simultaneously while someone nails you in the head again and again with a shovel.   Add to that the fact he’s the kind of tough you can only find in a Russian gulag and he presents quite a foe.  That being said, Kang

will set up his takedown with punches and pull off a submission (ala Paulo Filho) in the first round.

Ryo Chonan vs. Paulo Filho

Filho is not interested in foreplay.  When it comes to fighting, he does not whisper in your ear or rub your back.  Instead, he gets immediately to the action and dumps you straight on your head.  Then, while you are protesting that he didn’t “set the mood”, he tears your arm off and strangles you with it.  Wham.  Bam.  Thank you Ryo Chonan.  Filho will win by submission in round one.

Jason Black vs. Shinya Aoki

Black’s only loss came via freak injury, when his elbow spontaneously dislocated for no good reason during a fight with Shonie Carter. Now he’s facing a guy who’s infamous for giving his opponents’ elbows plenty of good reasons to dislocate.  If you’ve seen Aoki’s DVD, you know what I mean.   Kieth Weisnewski probably still has nightmares where Aoki rips his arm off and dips it into melted butter before greedily consuming it.  Will he do the same to Black?  Maybe.  Assuming Black has done his homework he’ll keep his arms attached and win the fight by TKO.

Gerard Mousasi vs. Akihiro Gono

Mousasi beat Makato Takimoto by finding the secret weakness of the judo practitioner.  Namely: punching him hard in the face.  Ippon!   Akihiro Gono has made himself a reputation for handing out piñata-style beatings to anyone who steps in the ring with him.  Who wins here?  Oh no!  It’s Gono! (fun to say) probably by unanimous decision.

Gilbert Melendez vs. Nobuhiro Obiya

There are a million fighters out there who are undefeated.  For the most part, these guys haven’t lost because they’ve been fighting bums who are willing to let someone beat the crap out of them in exchange for soup, cocaine or hamburgers.  It’s pretty rare to see an undefeated fighter these days who has actually been fighting tough guys or, in this case, two of them – fighting each other.  Who wins?  I’m thinking Melendez – who will take home the winning cheque and a Pride ring girl, despite the fact that they seem to walk the fine line where pre-pubescent turns to gender-neutral.  Meanwhile, Obiya will spend the night in the graveyard as atonement for his loss by split decision.

Chris Brennan vs. Tatsuya Kawajiri

Brennan is coming off a loss to Shaolin via verbal submission due to ’swollen eye’.   News Flash: If having swollen eyes makes you re-think your desire to fight, Kawajiri is the last person on Earth you want to fight.   If you’ve ever seen a pit bull puppy attack a running shoe, you’ve seen a good approximation of what will happen here.  Kawajiri wins by unanimous decision.

Jeff “Big Frog” Curran vs. Hatsu Hioki

“Big Frog” is not a very good nickname and conjures images of Kermit the Frog clad head to toe in gladiatorial combat gear.  Hioki is coming off a win over Mark Hominick.  Also, it’s much more fun to shout “Hatsu” again and again than “Jeff” - which is a name I’m pretty sure most people in Japan would not be able to pronounce, even after weeks of practice.  Curran wins by decision.

Butterbean vs. Ikuhisa Minowa

Minowa will fight anyone, no matter who they are or what kind of bean they might be named after.  You might call him crazy.  I would say he’s “crazy like a fox”.  He would probably say he’s “power of dream samurai whirlwind” and then go do cartwheels directly into oncoming ocean waves.  No, I’m not making that up.  Still, there is a big difference between crazy and dumb and, though “The Punk” is obviously crazy, he always has a strategy to defeat his opponent and sometimes it even works.  What is it this time?  Likely a diving tackle followed quickly by a heel hook.  Minowa RD1.