They pick names out of a hat.  I am absolutely certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt that Pride matchmakers use this as their sole method for selecting who will fight who.  If there was ever any doubt about this, a quick glance down the card for Pride Bushido 10 quickly dispels it.  That being said sometimes a mis-match can be vastly more entertaining than a fight where fighters come into the ring so equally matched they effectively shut each other down.  Can Minowa handle the size of ’Giant’ Silva?  Does Marcus Aurelio have any bee’s wax stepping into the ring with Gomi?  Will Misaki survive his fight against Dan Henderson?  We’ll find out on Sunday, when DSE spins the great big wheel of insanity one more time.

Takanori Gomi vs. Marcus Aurelio
Gomi is like the one kid in your swimming class who, somehow, could hold his breath longer than everyone else.  You know - the weird kid whose front lawn was covered in old lawnmower parts and who kept sneaking into your back yard to swim in your above-ground pool even though you didn’t know him very well.  But your parents felt sorry for him, so they said "just let him swim in the damn pool".  Alas, I digress.  Somehow, Gomi can maintain a pace of fighting that nobody else can keep.  Everyone falls behind and invariably becomes the host of a five-knuckle fist-party in their brain - sometimes followed by the posh post-punch strangulation mixer.  Until someone can match his tempo, the fireball kid will rule the ring.  Look for Gomi to win by ref stoppage here.

Dan Henderson vs. Kazuo Misaki

Facing the right hand of "Dangerous" Dan Henderson is like being tied to train tracks.  You know that destruction is coming towards you, but you just can’t seem to get out of the damn way.  Kazuo Misaki will, like many before him, eat a hard straight right and get knocked out, then eat two more hard straight rights before the ref is able to stop the fight.  He will then wake up and claim the fight was called to a stop too early.  Then he will see the replay and realize how very wrong he is. 

Jens Pulver vs. Masakazu Imanari
Masakazu Imanari is a self-proclaimed "10th degree black belt of leglocks".  Loosely translated that means he’s also a 10th degree black belt of taking a brutal beating on the feet.  Look for him to dive at Pulver’s legs superman-style, and eventually land a heel hook.  Afterwards, he will get a congratulatory phone call from Din Thomas.

Joachim Hansen vs. Luis Azeredo

Thousands of years ago, the distant relatives of Joachim Hansen were piling into boats and raiding coastal towns.  From the excessively little research I’ve done, I think the relatives of Azeredo were surfing and eating mangoes.  What does this mean?  Nothing; but it is interesting, assuming it is right, which it probably is not.  Look for Hansen to whether the initial insanity and win by tko.

Phil Baroni vs. Yuki Kondo

As Usual, Phil Baroni will come into this fight with more juice in him than a Minute Maid factory.  It’s no secret that Baroni’s takedown defence is on par with that of your average drugged-up NYC Cab Driver.  Also watching him trying to escape from the bottom is like watching some dumb kid push like a bastard on a door that says "Pull" in big letters.  Lucky for him, Kondo is right on the fence where brave turns to crazy and will be more than willing to stand and strike.  Look for Baroni to win with a TKO and several stomps.

Murilo Rua vs. Paulo Filho

The last time I saw Murilo "Ninja" Rua he looked like he’d just won the gold medal in the Olympic sport of pudding-eating.  Put the Pillsbury dough boy in a pair of spandex "Chute Boxe" shorts and you get the general idea.  Now, he’s back to face Paulo Filho; who would have been in the middleweight grand prix if there was any justice in this world.  Alas, there is not, and Filho returns to continue the Chute Boxe vs. BTT rivalry with a controversial win by referee decision.  Expect a shoving-match between Arona and Silva in the ring afterwards.

Dennis Kang vs. Mark Weir

Like the Eminem song, Mark Weir has "one chance" to win this fight.  Mostly, this is due to the fact that he has no sprawl whatsoever, and no ability to defend himself on the ground.  Assuming Kang can overcome the "angry hooker" style striking of Weir, I expect the fight to end by GNP in the first round.

Ikuhisa Minowa vs. "Giant" SilvaNo matter who Giant Silva gets in the ring with, his real fight is the one against gravity.  Like a beached whale or an obese tri-athlete he has gone well past the point where size is advantageous.  Sure - he’ll chase Minowa around the ring, tilting about like a windmill on rollerskates (look for a cartwheel or two from Minowa here) but after a few minutes of this he will quickly tire and lay down to die like a weak-hearted grandmother following the poorly-considered choice to play tag with her hyperactive grandchildren.  Also, you know the initial phone call went something like this:

Sfx: Phone dialing

Minowa: Who is this?  I am covered in bees!

DSE: Mr. Ikuhisa Minowa?  We need someone to fight Giant Silva.

Minowa: I am the ocean spirit!

V1: So ... we’ll just send you the contract then.

Minowa: Behold my enormous wingspan!

V1: uh ... ok.

Paul Rodriguez vs. Mituhiro Ishida

Rodriguez has a decision loss to Takinormi Gomi.  Ishida has a decision loss to Vitor ’Shaolin’ Riberio.  Does that make this fight more exciting?  Nope.  Essentially this fight evokes the same feeling as trying to choose between a Japanese or Mexican restaurant when you’re really not very hungry anyway.  I will flip a coin.  Ishida wins a decision then fades back into the seemingly endless crowd of generic Japanese fighters.

Akihiro Gono vs. Kim Dae Won

Akihiro Gono has an MMA record as long as your arm and a right high kick that comes at you faster than problem flatulence.  Kim Dae Woon is DSE’s latest Korean import.  Sony or Samsung?  I go with Gono by KO in Round 1. 

Yves Edwards vs. Seichi Ikemoto

When Mark Hominick beat Yves Edwards I won 80 bucks American and Yves’ next opponent won the unenviable role of being the guy whom Yves beats so badly, everyone forgets the UFC loss, and replaces it with the unforgettable image of Yves kicking a man to the point where even a forensic scientist can’t be sure which end of the mangled body is the head and which is the ass.